Conference Notes

After writing the first five pages of my research paper and before talking to Dr. Archibald I thought that my paper was well written but wasn't well organized with the amount of information I included. I thought my paper did not flow well together and did not have good transition sentences. During the time that I talked to Dr. Archibald the main point that he suggested to me was that I should include more concrete examples of how pollution is affecting ordinary citizens in China. I should also include a story of a particular individual in the beginning of my paper. He mentioned that instead generalizing my topic at the beginning of my paper and then being specific, I should instead be specific by including a story or example and then generalize my topic. Dr. Archibald then suggested the order in which I discussed my topic in my paper; first I should include a detailed story of pollution, second discuss the controversy of pollution, and finally include the arguments that Chinese citizens are making about this issue. I now hope to find a lot more sources that contain stories of individuals who have been affected by this, this would then solve the problem of my paper being too general.